Take me too
by moontowns
Summary: Sasuke is 26 when he loses his wife to a car accident. But then he meets a 16 year old girl who is mysteriously familiar to him and his world is turned upside down and put back together all at once. (Reincarnation, age difference but no underage)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** hi...don't hate me for this one, just an idea. Also disclaimer absolutely NO underage stuff will happen here, maybe referenced past sasuke and sakura when they were both underage but adult sasuke will keep his morals together long enough do not worry, everything will be consensual

* * *

It was a bitter winter day when he got the news. Sasuke had been at home while Sakura ran errands. He was cooking dinner for when she returned, he even had a bottle of wine picked out. They'd been starting to try for a baby and even if they didn't need any assistance, he wanted to set the mood a little. Because after being together for ten years, it was just nice to show that you cared, that you were still trying. He conceded that he should put in a little more effort that day in particular.

"I'm gonna run out to do some errands, okay? I forgot a few things at the store and I have to mail our bills. I'll be home soon though," she informed him as she gathered her coat and keys. She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and was out the door.

Sasuke bid her goodbye and breathed a sigh of relief as soon as she was gone. At least she was talking to him. They'd gotten into a big argument over, honestly, nothing. They were both just worried about the future and started yelling, fueled purely by emotion. Sakura was already talking about schools and baby-proofing the house and Sasuke felt like he wasn't ready to even think about it. But he'd made Sakura wait a long time for him, he could never forget that, so he did think he should give in a little. He just didn't admit it then.

She called him a coward and he called her needy and the argument stopped because they were both too hurt, too tired to even continue.

He had set the table and brought everything to low heat when he got the call. It was his brother, Itachi. He almost told him to call back later because Sakura would be home for dinner soon and he wanted to be sure to greet her, maybe carry any bags inside for her. Itachi calling was nothing to be alarmed at since he often bothered Sasuke at home, but Sasuke's heart dropped to his stomach when Itachi started with, "I'm sorry, it's Sakura."

Itachi was a police officer, a first responder, and he was never one to waste his words. He wouldn't have called unless it was necessary.

Sasuke's body shut down and operated on auto pilot. He turned off the stove, knowing Sakura would yell at him if he burned their house down. He put the water pitcher back in the fridge because otherwise the ice would melt in the warmth of their home. He turned off a few lights to save energy. He got in his car and drove a few blocks to the address Itachi gave him. He doesn't remember when he started screaming.

* * *

What was most unfair was that the other driver came out unscathed. He had been drinking and drove in the wrong lane, hitting Sakura head on when she tried to make a left turn. The authorities watched the red light camera footage and said there was nothing that could have been done, she couldn't have seen him coming. The icy roads didn't help.

Sasuke wanted to kill the man so badly. He knew he would've if given the chance.

He stood watching the smoking remains of her car until Itachi clapped him on the shoulder and told him it was time to go home. They didn't let him see the body, there was no point. They had said their last goodbye when she walked out the door earlier that day.

* * *

He loses weight because he starts walking everywhere. Every time he passes the street corner where it happened, he curses under his breath and starts walking faster, but it feels like some invisible force is trying to get him to slow down. Why should he look? The pain is there even when he isn't thinking.

He cries. He cries more than he would like to admit. Sakura was everything to him and to have her ripped away from him so cruelly and so quickly made him feel like there was a hole where his heart should have been. Ten years together wasn't enough, only a lifetime would have come close to sufficing.

He hates himself. If he had gone instead, if he had held her back for just a moment to tell her he loved her, if they had been in the car together—he wouldn't be feeling this way.

The guilt, the sadness, the anger, the pain, all of it is there. It's expected given the way he loved Sakura.

* * *

He's at the grocery store of all places when it happens. He recognizes that he needs to take care of himself, just a little. People had been delivering food to his house, but mostly things that Sakura would've liked. He just wants a fucking sandwich. He thinks proudly to himself that Sakura would've been glad that he was trying. Maybe if he was good enough, he could get her back, some way, somehow.

He picked up a soft loaf of bread from the bottom shelf, thinking he'd just eat sandwiches for the entire week because why not. Then when he straightened up and looked down the aisle, he promptly dropped the loaf on the floor and his jaw went with it.

He had to be seeing things. There was just no way.

Standing in front of him was Sakura, looking just as sweet as the day they'd met.

"There you are," she says with a pretty smile, like she'd been looking for him.

* * *

**A/N:** I don't have everything figured out for this universe, but it'll be focused on SS rather than Sakura living her life (like will her parents know? Idk let's ignore that and focus on Sasuke's angst LOL) and while I'm interested in figuring this out, I also have no intentions of abandoning my other fics. Everything will just take some time for me to update :-)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Timeline wise, let's say car accident was January, they meet again in February (you know, give him a little time to grieve before being Confused), then her bday will be as usual in March. After this chapter it'll become much lighter in tone with lots of pining.

* * *

"What the fuck?" His bread was abandoned on the beige tile floor. The shelves, stacked high with baked goods, felt like they were about to swallow him up.

An elderly woman huffed at the end of the aisle and steered her cart away.

Sakura, or someone who looked exactly like her, smiled even wider, "Hi to you too, Sasuke."

He rubbed his eyes hard, his vision already blurring with tears. His breathing grew shallow and his heart started racing. He hadn't been experiencing hallucinations yet—and he didn't want to start now. The grief was already so painful and confusing, but now he was seeing things under the flourescent lights in the stupid grocery store.

"Why are you doing this to me? Why are you still hurting me?"

"Sasuke? Did I do something wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?" She came closer, wondering what set him off like that. Not even a hello?

"Get away from me. Get away from me, you are not her. You can't be her." And with that, Sasuke tore out of the grocery store and sprinted home.

Except he was so, so weak from his emotional damage and his hunger that he barely got halfway before his muscles screamed at him to stop, and he collapsed on the sidewalk. He heaved, his vision blacking out and his lungs working overtime. But he needed to get home, he needed to get away from whatever happened in that grocery store.

Slowly, he dragged himself to his feet again and hoped someone he knew, or worse, the Konoha Police, wouldn't see him.

* * *

The next day, he felt proud of himself because even if he slept until noon, he ordered pizza for lunch. He was still exhausted, and he was starving. A large pepperoni pizza with extra sauce sounded perfect.

The doorbell rang and he pulled the door open while looking down at his wallet, counting the cash.

Except instead of a pizza delivery box, he was staring Sakura straight in the face. And not his Sakura, but the young Sakura he encountered at the grocery store.

"No," he said immediately. He tried to close the door, tried to shut everything out because _what the fuck was going on. _

But this girl was _strong _and she stopped the door with one hand, "No, you!" She shouldered her way into the house and closed the door behind her. Sasuke was about to scream when she shakily lifted her fingertips and pressed them lightly against the middle of his forehead.

"I'm telling you, it's me." Her chest was heaving as if she was trying very, very hard to keep it together herself.

He didn't know when he started crying again, but his midnight eyes widened and all the tears spilled out. The white noise rushing through his ears was reduced to silence.

"_Sakura?" _he whispered in disbelief before crashing into a bone crushing hug.

He saw her, he felt her, he smelled her. He still didn't know what was happening, but for some reason, he didn't want to run away anymore.

"I'm here," she whispered soothingly. She missed him, even if they had only just met when they were sixteen, when they were her age. She remembered him enough to miss him.

"Are..are you sure?" he asked, feeling like a scared little kid, but he was desperate for reassurance.

"Will you let me explain?"

He didn't want to let go, but he was still so confused, so he drew back to look into her eyes and found them unchanged: his favorite shade of green. He was soothed; her eyes wouldn't lie.

"How old are you?" he asked cautiously. Beyond just how the hell she got there, her physical appearance was throwing him off.

"Sixteen."

"Why?" He stepped back again, taking in her smaller frame and rounder face.

"I don't know," she admitted with a half smile, "but that's just how it was when I woke up. I was at my parents' house. And then my body…it's like it was telling me to look for you. So I went to the grocery store and then, you know."

Sasuke felt like a horrible son-in-law because he had hardly checked up on her parents. But he didn't know how he would have helped him if he did call. "Your parents, how are they doing?"

"They're fine, um, I guess they're normal for me. They're younger too, the same age they were when I was sixteen before. From what I've seen today and yesterday, I think you're the only one who's older."

"Why?" he asked again as he led her into the living room and onto a couch. She perched herself naturally on the cushion she always used to occupy. The room felt so much fuller than it had in the past month.

"I don't know." She placed one of the pillows on her lap and hugged it close. She was the one who had chosen those pillows. Everything in the house had her touch. It had been _their _house.

"When you woke up…did it hurt? Or…" he trailed off, unsure of what his question even was. Was she reborn, was she the same?

"I feel completely fine. I know I left you and this world, but I don't really have any memories leading up to um, the end. I just woke up. Some things are fuzzy, and some things are completely clear. I remember you, of course, but there are some gaps."

So she didn't know how she died. Sasuke breathed in, deciding then and there to never let her know. She shouldn't have to suffer twice. "So in your memories, I'm still me? I'm still there?"

She showed all her teeth when she smiled this time, "Of course you are. You're right there beside me, just like before."

His heart squeezed in his chest. "Sakura, I'm 25." It felt like a dirty secret he was admitting to, but he wasn't sure if she knew, and it wasn't something he could gloss over.

"I know, I have memories of us being the same age, even past sixteen." He was undoubtedly her Sasuke, just older. He had a house, a car, a job. His hair was longer and he was taller. But his eyes were the same, dark and honest.

He nodded. The doorbell rang again and broke the silence. "Pizza's here," he said weakly.

* * *

He'd always felt like he'd known Sakura his whole life. They fell in love quickly after meeting—loving her was easy and natural. So maybe in their past lives, they were together too. Some things were just meant to be.

But the thought of meeting someone to take her place never once crossed his mind. She was his soulmate—his one and only.

"It's been hard on you, hasn't it?"

Sasuke turned his face away, not wanting her to see the pained grimace that flashed across his face. They had shared the pizza in silence, and now he was searching for something to fill the silence. He missed everything about her, her daily chattering included. He tried to resume his new normal of a stone faced expression, but sometimes he couldn't help but let the grief surface.

"I'm sorry. If we could trade places, I promise you I would. I don't fully understand it either, but I would never have wanted something like this to happen to you." She was always sensitive to his mood changes. He couldn't hide from her.

"This just still doesn't feel real." He kept rubbing his eyes, making sure he was seeing her correctly.

"It's me, I promise you it's me."

He slowly breathed in and out. Despite the confusion, he knew he still had choices. He had suffered for what felt like a lifetime and now he was going to allow himself to indulge in the comfort of Sakura being back in his life. "I know, I believe you."

Before he knew it, she all but threw her petite body at him and wrapped her arms tightly around his torso. Believing her, not running away from her, was a start.

"Sakura, it hurts," he mumbled.

She loosened her grip and apologized sheepishly. Strong as ever, he thought, of course it's her. He pulled away from her completely, "And we can't." He thought it went unspoken: she's only sixteen and he's already twenty five.

"Please let me. Share your pain, I'm telling you it's okay."

He looked down at her very seriously. She'd always been mature, but the words coming out of her mouth didn't match her youthful face. "You said you would trade places with me, but I would never wish this upon you. You should enjoy being sixteen again. I'll wait."

* * *

A/N: I know the word reincarnation usually means someone is born again in a different body with the same spirit, but for this, Sakura is more so transported back in time and she only has some of her memories. The rest of the people in her life are kind of reset and know Sakura as a 16 year old (and only up until then), furthering Sasuke's feelings of confusion and loneliness because he's the only one who aged/stayed in his timeline. This isn't a time travel fic tho, as key Sasuke-related characters (like his brother and parents) are also in his timeline and he has not returned to his 16 year old state. I know good writing should explain this all, but just wanted to try to clear it up, hopefully this helped LOL


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Would people be interested in reading Sakura's perspective? Let me know since they're both pining haha. Sorry for the long absence, I just updated my other story as well so for a longer note about what's up with me, check that out!

* * *

It was getting dark outside when Sakura sighed with noticeable reluctance, "My parents might be getting worried about me, so I guess I should go." She could tell Sasuke had lingering questions, but they no longer had the luxury of spending all their time together. Just sitting on the couch with him was already strengthening her memories of domestic life, shedding light on their old routine. She wasn't sure if she was allowed to say she missed him.

"They don't know about me, right?" Sasuke moved from Oto to Konoha when he was sixteen, so he wouldn't be in their memories yet. He didn't know how he would explain himself to them now, so he would hang back until it was appropriate.

"No, they don't. From what I can tell, I'm the only one who remembers life from before. It's strange." She felt less frightened now that she had Sasuke back, but she wasn't quite comfortable yet.

"So what now? Just be..normal?"

"As normal as we can be, given, you know," she said as she gestured to herself. One thing she definitely remembered from their adult routine was that Sasuke made a mean cup of coffee, so she would be expecting some of that in the future.

He nodded. "How are you getting home?"

"I walked here, but—"

"I'll drive you home. Just tell them you were with Ino, that always worked before." The smell of his car's leather interior brought back a wash of memories too.

He would have to figure out how to distance himself while also not letting her out of his sight. He just wanted her to be safe. He glanced at the girl riding in his front seat and sighed. He had his work cut out for him.

* * *

Their lives were more separate than before, so they decided to start getting reacquainted in the mornings when Sasuke drove her to school. She used to ride her bike, but since he had a car, he figured he might as well give her a lift. It gave him a reason to drag himself out of bed in the mornings. His leave from work was ending soon, so he needed to get used to waking up early again.

She always looked shy when she got in the car, as if she was afraid of intruding on his space like she had at the grocery store. Neither of them were ready to talk about that yet.

It was strange how she got ready for school, putting on a touch of makeup and carefully picking out her clothes, as if she was always anticipating seeing her crush. Even when they were married, she still felt like a schoolgirl with a crush sometimes. Was Sasuke still considered her husband? Thinking about it for too long made her face heat up.

He would pick her up and drop her off around the block from where she needed to be so that fewer people saw them or asked questions. "My friends would be so jealous if they knew," she once said with a giggle.

What? That her 25 year old boyfriend/husband who also wasn't her boyfriend/husband had to drive her in secret? He raised a questioning eyebrow at her and she elaborated, "I get driven to and from school by this handsome guy in his cool car!" He shook his head with amusement. She was extra excitable as a teenager, he forgot how much she mellowed out as they got older.

"Go, or you'll be late."

"You're always such a grump in the morning," she teased before getting out. She leaned through the open door and asked hopefully, "Same spot after school?"

"Ah. I'll see you then. Have a good day." The warning bell chimed in the background and Sakura zipped towards the gate, calling out a final goodbye. He waved even when her back was turned to him.

* * *

Even when he begrudgingly returned to his normal work schedule, Sakura didn't mind waiting longer at school. She just wanted to see him. She took the time to finish her homework in the library so she could try wrangling Sasuke into doing something fun with her after school. Even if he offered excuses about having to do mundane tasks like go to the post office and pick up his dry cleaning, she wanted to tag along and spend time with him.

"Can we go get ice cream?"

"No." He wasn't going to allow himself to get too attached to someone who was still a child. Previous experiences or not, she deserved to live an uncomplicated life for a little while longer. She should go home and...watch TV? Or something.

"Why not?" She pouted. "I finished all my homework."

"Congratulations."

"_Sasuke," _she implored.

"It's almost dinner time."

"Exactly! I'm hungry."

"I'm sure your mother is almost finished making a lovely dinner, you don't want to spoil your appetite."

"You know she's a horrible cook."

He considered this. He never liked going to Sakura's house mainly because that meant he would be subject to Mebuki's disastrous attempts at cooking. "Fine. Drive through only."

"Oh hell yeah, soft serve!"

* * *

He pulled up to the curb to wait for Sakura to get out of school and parked the car with a sigh. He noticed a teenage couple half-hidden in the shadows, making out against a brick wall. He remembered that feeling: like he couldn't get enough of Sakura, like he had to be close to her at all times. It had never really dulled, he just got better at dealing with it. And while he was no longer a hormonal teenager, he was still a hot blooded male. His urges had just gotten more complicated and tied with his emotions. He missed the intimacy and closeness he had with his _wife. _

Sakura surprised him by flinging the car door open at that moment. He blinked his thoughts away and nodded in greeting while she got settled inside.

"I have something for you," she said shyly, not quite meeting his gaze. She unzipped her backpack and pulled out a small box.

"Oh?" It was just a normal Wednesday, what was the occasion?

"Well I realized we missed Valentine's Day so…" She felt a little silly about it, but she ended up being quite pleased with her selection. She didn't want the gift to feel juvenile, but she had to acknowledge that their relationship was just different now. If you could even call it that. She just felt like Sasuke was doing everything for her, all for nothing in return. She wanted to be there for him too. (But if she really thought about the Sasuke she had known and loved, she'd realize that he was doing everything for her because that's what he wanted to do. He had known and loved her just as much.)

He opened the box to reveal a small bottle of cologne — no, it read _Pillow Spray. _He had seen this before: a calming spray with essential oils meant for your pillowcase to help you sleep. He had never considered using one, though.

"You need to take care of yourself too, Sasuke," she said softly, kindly. She knew he was wrapped up in making sure she was adjusting to this new life, but he couldn't forget himself.

She must have remembered the way he used to get nightmares, must have known that they'd come back with a vengeance—especially now that she wasn't there to comfort him at night.

Every single one of them was about losing her again.

He bowed his head, "Thank you, Sakura." Everyday he was unbelievably grateful for her. And that's why losing her terrified him so deeply.

But to express his gratitude, all he could do was offer a smile, squeeze her hand, and drive off.

* * *

They were walking in a park on a crisp Sunday morning when the gaps in her memories truly revealed themselves, like the light that filtered through the tree leaves: not all of it could reach the ground. Parts of the path before them were dappled with shifting shadows and Sasuke felt thrown and uncertain.

Sasuke had chuckled to himself, pointing out a wooden bench. "Remember our date there? It lasted all but two minutes because the food from that cafe gave me food poisoning."

"Huh? What cafe?"

"You know, the one near our—uh, your school. They sell dango and stuff." Sasuke hated sweets, and eating them even for Sakura's sake was a _mistake. _He had felt horrible about ditching her because it was one of their first real dates. But neither of them would've enjoyed it if he stayed. He always thought he made it up to her ten times over since then, though. Now he wasn't so sure.

"But I've only been there once, and I shared with Ino? This was recent too, like, last week."

"You mean you…"

"Don't remember. Uh, let me think," she said, clearly straining for something that was just not within her grasp. He hated seeing her struggle, especially when it should have been as simple as remembering a funny memory.

She wasn't the type to give up easily, so when she sighed and said, "I'm drawing up blank," Sasuke knew the memory just wasn't there anymore. He nodded slowly, trying to digest the fact that this wasn't something he could simply remind her of. He would have to tell her every detail and even then, the memory wouldn't quite be her own, not like it used to be.

"That's okay," he reassured himself more than her, "I'll remember for the both of us. The woman at the shop is kind of old and very kind. Is she still like that?"

"Uh, I think so? Yes? She might be. I'm sorry, I'm just getting confused. I thought a young man served us when I went this time. Or was that the tea shop? Maybe the bookstore? Oh Sasuke, I really don't know," she looked up at him, clearly distressed. Although seemingly mundane, she could tell this was a memory he cherished, and she didn't want to let him down.

He shook his head, "Don't worry about it. We can go together another time." He was quiet for the rest of the walk, lost in his storm of thoughts. Her memories had started to layer on top of each other, and Sasuke's list of fears was growing; he didn't want her to forget her old memories of him.

* * *

**A/N:** Gosh I forgot how fun this story was to write! Hopefully the gift scene wasn't too corny, I literally had no idea what to actually gift him. Next chapter will have Sakura's 17th birthday (so smut is still not happening yet, I won't write underage)! So sorry for the wait on updates though :(


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Not really sure how much clearer I can make it but no, they won't be having sex before Sakura turns 18 (again). In fact, they'll keep waiting for a bit per Sasuke's request.

* * *

Before he knew it, it was Sakura's birthday. She would've been 27 before, but now she was turning 17 again and Sasuke had no idea what to give her. What did girls her age even like?

Being the straightforward person that he was, he decided he might as well ask for at least a hint. But Sasuke quickly realized he had landed himself in some deep shit.

"I want a kiss," she said with sparkling eyes. Did she have to tease him so much?

"You know I can't give that to you."

She shrugged, "You asked me what I wanted. That's what I always wanted."

It was true; she had made the first move when they were younger and she expressed love in a lot of ways, one being always wanting to kiss him. Before, Sasuke had no reason to complain, but now he was obviously conflicted. When he couldn't put his feelings into words, he put them into actions, including his kisses, so their situation made him feel like he was leaving so much to be desired.

"So what _are_ you gonna get me then?" she prodded.

Impatient as always, but good that she accepted not getting a kiss. "I'll have to think of something. Is there really nothing you want?"

Another shrug, "I'm back here with you, I can't ask for much more." She spoke casually, but he knew her words were sincere.

And he was so endeared by her, so filled with gratitude that yes, she was here with him, that he couldn't help himself. "Sakura. Would you maybe...be interested in a kiss that's not on the lips?" He felt like a shy 16 year old testing the boundaries again. This would be fine, he told himself. Chaste and quick and nothing more.

She nodded eagerly, already coming closer to him. Like lightning, he could feel the attraction between the two of them and it pained him.

He put a hand on her shoulder and brought her a little closer, "Happy early birthday. And thank you." He pressed his lips to her forehead, keeping her in his grasp for only a moment before releasing her. When he pulled away, she was blushing from head to toe.

"My turn?"

He was a little confused, but still nodded. He even bent down so she could reach more easily. While he expected a forehead kiss in return, she placed a noisy kiss to his cheek and pulled away almost immediately, squealing with her hands drawn into her chest. Standing there in his kitchen, reduced to blushing messes over a simple forehead and cheek kiss, Sasuke definitely felt like a teenager again. He ruffled Sakura's hair to purposely break the moment. It was all he could give her for now.

Even if their situation was complicated, he could always count on Sakura to make him smile.

* * *

He ended up buying her a weighted blanket and a huge teddy bear. If she couldn't cuddle with him, she could at least be comfortable with something else.

She loved it, so of course, he was happy. Except when she would send photos of herself all snuggled up with the blanket, he felt like it would have been inappropriate to save the photos. She just looked so cute. Damn, he needed a hug.

* * *

She asked in the car of all places.

He should've seen it coming. She was like any other teenager, yearning for freedom and a sense of adulthood. Plus, the end of the school year was coming up quickly, so she would want to spend time out with friends. But at the same time, she was not at all like any other teenager and he couldn't figure out how to treat her without raising suspicion.

There was no reason for her _not_ to want to learn how to drive.

But Sasuke had every reason to not want her to get back in the driver's seat.

"It's like riding a bike: once you learn, you never really forget, right?"

"Wrong."

"Well I did perfectly fine on the written test, so I already have my permit. How hard can it be?"

"You can wait longer."

"What's wrong?" she whined, "Do you really not want to teach me how to drive? Do you think I'm gonna be terrible or something?" Maybe he was just trying to avoid being stern with her, as she suspected driving lessons required. She was almost certain that her parents would be worse, so she hoped Sasuke could teach her a little before she had to deal with those two obnoxious backseat drivers.

"No, it's not that," he said, but he seemed distant. She didn't think she was asking for anything too significant, considering that they technically _were _husband and wife. From her memories, she was able to gather that Sasuke simply would have done anything for her. Why was this so different? After a long silence, he spoke carefully, the stress evident on his face despite his attempt at composure, "It's not that I don't trust you behind the wheel. But other drivers who share the road are not so cautious—in fact, they're dangerous."

"But you drive everyday."

"Sakura, that's not the point."

"Then what is the point?" she cried. "Why are you being weird about this? What's the problem?" She was starting to get seriously frustrated.

By this time, they had pulled up to his house. Sasuke parked the car before he answered. He turned to her, "Do you really not remember?"

"Remember what?" Now she was confused, did they talk about this before? She hated the feeling of not remembering, it made her feel like she was letting him down.

"How you...left."

Oh.

She chewed her lip, "No, I've tried to go back to some of my, uh, last moments, but I don't remember at all. Is that what this is about?"

Determined to do good on his promise to never let her know what really happened lest he trigger painful memories, he quickly added, "I'm just being cautious. It's nothing, really. I'm sorry."

She knew it wasn't just nothing. She knew Sasuke, despite how different he might think she was now. There were some things she couldn't forget, some things that couldn't be unlearned. How to deal with Sasuke was one of them.

She changed her approach. She spoke gently, "I won't say I understand, because I don't. But if you don't want to, I won't force it." She could tell he was in pain and this wasn't worth having a fight.

But as always, he caved. He hated when she was unhappy with him, it felt like a waste of their time. He sounded exhausted when he spoke, "If you really, really want to, we can go around the neighborhood tomorrow. Slowly, very slowly." He was honestly dreading it, but Sakura looked so pleased that he felt marginally better.

_Take it day by day,_ he reminded himself, _day by day._

* * *

A/N: Next chapter might have less angst? Tbh idk yet! I've got a few fun scenes planned but that's it so far, so maybe we'll just employ some handy time skips


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Okay, like I said in my last note, I'm just going to make use of time skips and have little scenes here and there because otherwise it'll feel kind of dry and stagnant. Plus I have some Sakura POV for you! Slight warning, there's solo masturbation in this chapter (Sasuke, not Sakura though).

* * *

Sasuke remembered that Sakura had been something of a late bloomer. And he had to endure, once again, watching Sakura's body change right before his eyes.

And if that wasn't enough torture, she knew exactly what she was doing this time around.

He had picked her up from school as usual and she was helping him put together a snack when he noticed what she was wearing. He scowled at the sight of her tight pink crop top and low rise jeans.

"Did you wear that to school?" He hadn't noticed because he, in his defense, had kept his eyes respectfully on her face up until then.

"No way," she giggled, "it was too cold today. I wore one of your old jackets." She gestured to the jacket thrown over the back of a kitchen chair. Sasuke recognized it, it was an old college sweatshirt that she used to always steal from him. Old habits die hard, he supposed. But where did she find it this time?

(She'd rifled through his clothes to find something comfortable but had been delighted by the way they smelled like him.)

"Hn, alright."

"You can't tell me what to wear, you know."

"I know." He'd always known that. He was just wondering when the school dress code got so lax. He wasn't jealous when it came to Sakura, he knew what they had together. But he didn't particularly like the thought of teenage boys ogling Sakura at school. He knew exactly what went through his mind at that age.

"Good." She paused, growing bashful, "But do you, um, like it?" The little outfit was a slight departure from her usual more conservative and casual clothes.

"Sakura."

"What? It's just a question," she whined.

"A leading question."

"So you're really not gonna answer?"

"I think you can guess how I feel."

She poked his arm. "You're such a grump. I'm going to the bathroom, by the time I come back hopefully that frown won't be stuck on your face."

When she shut the bathroom door and was well and truly out of sight, he grabbed his sweatshirt from the chair. It smelled faintly of her shampoo and that place in his chest started to ache.

* * *

And then when she came to him and excitedly showed off her new belly button piercing he thought he was going to die. As if the cropped shirts she had been favoring lately weren't enough. (Her excuse was that it was hot outside.)

"Does it hurt?" he asked in an attempt to make small talk. He didn't want to think about all the times in college he'd taken body shots off Sakura. She didn't have the piercing back then, but he surely would have been all over it if she did.

"Not really. Plus I wanted it so badly that I was more excited than nervous before I got it done. I just have to keep it clean and it'll be fine! It's cute right?"

The little pink jewel winked at him as it caught the light, taunting him with the sight of her toned stomach.

"Hn, adorable."

* * *

One day he just couldn't take it anymore. He tried to be strong, to be moral, to be good. But he had been without her for so long, he needed to do something. The grief and confusion that came with losing and finding her again had suppressed his neediness for a while, but the potency of those feelings had been weakened lately. With a sigh and his eyes screwed shut, he roughly shoved his pants down and wrapped his fist around his hard length.

He was terribly embarrassed about it, so he chose very specific sexual encounters to think about: Sakura's 22nd birthday party, the third night of their honeymoon, the times she wore his favorite red lingerie. No thoughts of current Sakura were allowed. Really, his wife in their old life had given him plenty of spank bank material.

The hand jerking his aching dick couldn't move fast enough. He tugged hard and grit his teeth, wanting it to be over quickly. He couldn't believe his baser desires were taking over like this. He just needed to cum, then he would clean up and move on. He missed her, he missed her, he missed her.

* * *

She missed him. Maybe it was the fact that summer was right around the corner and more exciting things lie ahead, but Sakura just could not focus lately. Sasuke was always on her mind, but even when she got to see him, he felt so far away. Like, what was the driving lessons incident all about? Was she just imagining the way he could barely look her in the eye lately? If he looked at her at all.

But it was impossible not to think of him. Lunchtime with her friends was always filled with chatter about boys, boys, boys. When Ino asked her if she had her eye on anyone, Sakura responded casually, "Nope. No one's really caught my attention lately. It's too bad, having a crush is fun." Ino nodded sagely; she had just finished filling the girls in on the transfer student, Sai, who was apparently super cute and maybe even boyfriend material.

Having a crush was fun, but no one would ever be able to take her heart from Sasuke. She vaguely remembered first meeting him and feeling like her face was on fire. When he agreed to go on a date with her, she had felt like she was floating. She knew that spark, that passion, that boundless love was still there, but her age was weighing it down like a wet blanket.

She turned to look out the window, face resting against her palm. The clock could not go by anymore slowly, she huffed. Was he thinking of her? Was he waiting for her because he still loved her or he felt obligated to be with her? She shook her head, not wanting to think about it too hard lest she start crying like she had in the past. These were shower thoughts.

As her teacher continued droning on about something she had already read about in the textbook, Sakura turned to her notebook and started doodling in the margins. Classroom daydream thoughts were soft and happy and sweet. Thinking of the way he said her name was a good start.

* * *

"Can you take me shopping?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"That would require going out in public together," he muttered.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" she pouted. She knew the answer was no, but she was feeling a little mischievous. He was too easy to tease.

"You know that's not it."

"Then won't you take me?"

He tapped her forehead, "Do you enjoy annoying me?"

Her eyes sparkled. That was one gesture she remembered well. "Yes. So I'm asking again, why won't you take me?"

He sighed and gestured to himself, "I think it's quite obvious that I'm older than you. It's not proper. It would look like..like I'm paying for your time."

"Oh how scandalous!" she exclaimed with mock concern, hand against her chest like she was clutching her pearls.

"Exactly," he drawled.

"Well I'm bored."

"Did you finish your homework?"

"Duh." She always was a spectacular student.

He grappled with himself internally for a while before huffing and offering a compromise, "I suppose online shopping wouldn't hurt though."

"You're the best, did you know that?" She surprised him with a quick peck to the cheek. He turned around to pretend to grab his credit card for her when really, he needed to hide how flustered she made him.

* * *

**A/N:** Ha ha kind of meta, no sugar daddy Sasuke in this story, that's my other story! Someone asked if Sakura will ever regain her full memories and as of now, I'm gonna say no. There will be more stuff with her memory in the future. And the fateful 18th birthday will be in the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

"Would you ever go for someone older?" Ino asked between mouthfuls of chocolate cake. Sakura and her friends were out to dinner for her 18th birthday and of course, they ordered dessert.

And of course, they talked about boys. Ino gave them plenty of updates on her new guy Sai and Tenten kept sighing dreamily when she talked about Neji. Even Temari, normally tight lipped when it came to discussing romance, gave a few snippets about Shikamaru.

Ino's question was innocent enough but it made Sakura choke on her bite of cake. After regaining a sliver of her composure she croaked, "If the circumstances were right, sure." Really, she remembered loving that she could move through the stages of life at the same time as Sasuke, but she wasn't going to complain too much right now, not when they were miraculously together.

Ino was trying to determine exactly what Sakura's type was so she could finally set the girl up with someone. Dark or light hair? Older or younger? Artsy or athletic?

"Maybe in college, then," Ino said wistfully. "There's gotta be someone out there for you, Forehead."

"Yup, my Prince Charming is waiting somewhere," she laughed nervously.

She knew exactly who she wanted, there would only be one for her. He had dark hair with equally dark eyes, he was tall, he smelled delicious, he was smart, he was strong, he was sensitive, he was gentle, he was moody, he was stubborn. He loved his family, he took challenges head on, he was a great chef. He was protective and didn't like it when she drove or was away from him for a long time. He was frustratingly patient when she felt like she was at her wit's end. He was already her _husband _in another life but he wasn't hers to have just yet.

* * *

Her birthday celebration with Sasuke was a much more mellow affair. He invited her over for dinner and cooked all her favorites. It was just the two of them, and she was so, so happy. He could tell by the way she kept grinning at him and laughing at just about everything he said. She was an adult now, they could finally breathe.

"Do you want your present now?" he asked after clearing away the dishes. He had turned away from the sink to find her awfully close. It was like gravity wanted to pull them together until they collided.

Her features lit up, "How could I say no to that?"

He grabbed her hand, "I'll show you." He'd been buzzing with the secret for weeks now. Her 18th birthday was a special one, he couldn't get her just _anything._

They didn't go far really, all he had to do was open the door to the garage to reveal a shiny new SUV parked next to his own car.

Sakura gasped and covered her mouth with both hands, rendered speechless. In the silence Sasuke quickly explained, "We'll have to work out the insurance to hide it from your parents and all that, but it's yours. Every fucking safety feature you can think of is in there. There's no rush, but I'll give you the keys now anyway. If you don't like it, I can get you something else, really." Her old car had been completely totaled in the accident and he hadn't bothered buying a new one until now, there was no need.

He attempted to be casual, but his palms were clamming up and his heart was racing. He knew it was a grand gesture, even more significant given their history, but nothing else felt right. If she drove this car and not the piece of junk her parents had passed down, he'd feel significantly more at ease.

She threw her arms around his neck, not caring that her tears were getting his shirt wet, "Oh, thank you, thank you, _thank you _Sasuke! I love it! It's too much but, but it's perfect!"

He hummed and placed a kiss to the top of her head, "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it." Despite it all, he didn't want to come off too strong and scare her away.

She squeezed him tighter and said with as much sincerity as possible, "I love it, really. Thank you."

"Time for cake now?"

She released him and nodded eagerly. He took a final look at the car and shut the door, amused at the way she skipped over to the fridge. She ate most of the cake on her own; he only took a bite when she all but begged him to. With her cheeks full of food and her eyes closed in enjoyment, she looked like a little bunny. No matter her age, she'd always be cute, wouldn't she?

He surprised her by wrapping her in a warm embrace. "Happy birthday, Sakura." The sun had set completely, leaving the kitchen only illuminated by dim overhead lights. The house was quiet and he looked down at her fondly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He hoped she felt special today.

"You know what I want," she whispered, looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes.

"And I want that too, you know that. But..we can't, not yet," he croaked. It was so hard to stay away from her. Beyond just his sexual desires, he really missed being close to her, being able to love her without boundaries. But he never wanted to rush their relationship, not when they were miraculously gifted a second chance.

"Why not?" she whined, "I'm 18 now. It's okay."

"I know but..." he struggled with his words. A pause. He started again, "I don't want you to think that I've been waiting for this day just so we could have sex. It's your choice, but it also doesn't feel right that we do it so quickly."

"If not now then when?" Her eyes started to fill with tears of frustration. "If it's my choice, why won't you listen to me? Do you not want me?"

"It's not like that. I don't deserve you. I don't feel right." But no matter what his mind was telling him was right or wrong, he knew exactly what his body wanted, even what his heart wanted.

"You have me. You have me forever, please just take me. You've already made me wait."

He couldn't help but give in just a little. All he wanted was for her to be happy with him again. And the longer he waited past her birthday, the longer she waited, too. "We can...we can kiss," he mumbled, already moving his face closer. Sakura quickly grabbed onto his shoulders, not wanting him to run away. He backed her up against a wall and almost groaned at the feeling of her body pressed against his. He had missed her so much.

His breathing was shallow and all he could see was a sweet pink mouth just begging to be devoured. "Just a kiss," he whispered again before claiming her lips with his own. Just a kiss, he thought as he carded his fingers through her hair and pressed her against the wall with more of his weight. Just a kiss, he thought as her mouth opened for him and his tongue immediately pressed its way in. He felt feverish having her in his arms again, so open and willing for him to do whatever he wanted. Like a forbidden fruit, she tasted divine.

His hips rolled against hers, causing her to moan in delight. She remembered enough to miss this.

"We can't," he whispered as he kissed down her neck. _Wecantwecantwecant _his mind told him when her small hands slipped beneath his shirt and started exploring the hard planes of his torso. He finally gathered enough self control to rip his lips away from her skin, breathing heavily. Sakura whined at the loss, tilting her head to try to capture his mouth with hers once again.

"We can't. I promise I'll make it worth the wait," he vowed. The determination in his obsidian eyes made Sakura agree, made her untangle herself from the love of her life, made her hold onto her last scrap of patience.

* * *

Life went on. Sasuke held back, she could tell, but he was at least more free with his affections. Sometimes, he'd give her a certain look and she'd wonder if it would be the day, but he still kept her waiting.

Waiting left her mind to wander, though. Would she live up to his expectations? What if the version of her that he had in his head didn't line up with who she was today? Sometimes, she felt like she was walking on eggshells to avoid making a mess of everything. Was he putting her off so he wouldn't have to face his own true feelings?

She knew their first time having sex again, whenever that may be, wouldn't be some throwaway experience for either of them. She blushed thinking about how Sasuke surely had so much _practice. _Oh god, that was definitely a time she wouldn't want to let him down. He already knew where to touch, where to kiss, where to squeeze, she hoped she wouldn't fumble.

Even if that part of her life was stalled, senior year was a whirlwind. Graduating and heading off to college was on everyone's mind, and of course, before they got there, they got to experience prom. Most girls were dreaming of thoughtful promposals, stunning dresses and glamorous limos.

Sasuke thought he was picking Sakura up on a normal day, but he wished someone had warned him about the P-word.

"How was school?" he asked innocently. He drove off towards his house but as soon as he glanced at Sakura again, he made a turn to get her ice cream from the drive-thru.

"They gave us prom packets today and you're too old. I can't bring you with me!" she wailed. Her face was already red and splotchy, fat tears cascading down her cheeks. The information had clearly stated that no dates brought from outside the Konoha High student body could be older than 20.

"Oh," he said awkwardly. He remembered their prom quite well—Sakura looked beautiful. And they definitely had sex that night. _Idiot, you can't tell her that now, _he thought, annoyed that his mind had strayed that way. "Can't you just go with a friend?"

That caused her to sob harder, "All my friends already have dates! I'm gonna be alone like a stupid loser." Her emotions made it hard to be more articulate, but he could feel her pain. His heart was screaming at him to make her feel better.

"How's this," he offered as she continued crying, "you can go with your friends, even if you don't have a date. But, I will drive you home, with me, as soon as you call. So if you're not having fun, you don't have to stay."

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "You probably think this is silly. It's stupid, now that I think about it."

"It's not stupid." If it was affecting her this much, it wasn't stupid.

"I know you say it's fine but we're just at different stages in our lives and it sucks because I feel like I'm always trying to catch up to you and the old me." She sighed, then asked abruptly, "If I wasn't me, would you still have chosen me?"

"You are you, Sakura. That's what matters most. I don't know why it's like this," he said candidly, "but I'm not going to reject the second chance we've been given. I know it's hard. But I will take _this_ over a life without you."

And Sakura realized how much he must have been hurt to have grieved alone for all that time. It split her heart, too, thinking of all the ways Sasuke must have shut down without her.

"Does it bother you that I don't always remember?" she asked suddenly. Really, all of life was about remembering. If their past life was already disrupted by her departure, then so fragmented in her own memory, how could Sasuke be satisfied with an incomplete picture?

"We both know this situation is not ideal," he admitted uncomfortably, "but it's better than…" Sakura got the point. She looked down at her hands for a bit. They had reached the drive-thru and she stayed silent while he ordered. She ate her ice cream quietly, too, and only spoke up when they pulled into the garage at the house.

"I try very hard, you know, to remember," she told him earnestly, but her voice had become thick and her eyes were shining with emotion. She looked so small clutching her own arms in the passenger seat.

He undid his seatbelt to face her properly. "Why? You don't have to. You don't have to do anything."

"But..what do I even _do _for you?

He frowned at her. He must not be doing a very good job at letting her know how much he valued her. His darkest days were the ones without her.

"You don't have to do anything." She'd always been like this, pushing herself.

"But is it worth it?" The root of the problem, her real question. "Is it worth the wait? Am I worth it?"

Sasuke shook his head and tapped the center of her forehead with his fingers, "You'll always be annoying, won't you?"

Emerald eyes widened in recognition; certain things triggered her memory, and the gesture, the phrase, surfaced so clearly at the forefront of her mind. She could never forget _that_. Her heartbeat sped up. "Sasuke…"

"You've always been my irreplaceable partner. Losing you was the most painful thing I've ever been through. Don't apologize for what you can't control. Go have fun at prom, and I'll be there as soon as you call." She was both something out of his wildest dreams and someone who grounded him. But she deserved to live her life as a teenager again, rather than being weighed down by worry for her adult husband. He'd be fine.

"Okay," she said softly. "I'll save a dance for you."

* * *

**A/N:** Um so, woof, still no sex LOL It is my true feeling that the whole barely legal thing is weird. So we keep waiting!

Someone wrote in their review that they wondered how the intensity of Sasuke's feelings would affect Sakura since she's so young and I thought that was really interesting! I tried to address it in a realistic way in this chapter. And I pulled a line from Sasuke Retsuden, we love irreplaceable partners!


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